Quotes by Andy Rooney

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.  Don\'t clean it up too quickly. close quote - Andy Rooney
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.close quote - Andy Rooney

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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we do not make any big ones.close quote - Andy Rooney

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Vegetarian - that is an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.close quote - Andy Rooney
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We do not need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.close quote - Andy Rooney
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.close quote - Andy Rooney
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.close quote - Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.close quote - Andy Rooney

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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.close quote - Andy Rooney

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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.close quote - Andy Rooney

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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.close quote - Andy Rooney
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.close quote - Andy Rooney
People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.close quote - Andy Rooney

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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.close quote - Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.close quote - Andy Rooney


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