You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She is 97 today and we do not know where the hell she is.- Ellen DeGeneres
Yeah I am thirty-six, but on the show I am thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is ninety-seven now, and we do not know where the hell she is.
Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and then run away.
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
I am on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I am gonna rip it off.
I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that is where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals.
I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
