You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.- Jay Leno
You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a Bitch.
You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They do not want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.
