To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.- John Mortimer
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.- John Mortimer
There is always time for failure.- John Mortimer
The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed.- John Mortimer
The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt.- John Mortimer
The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.- John Mortimer
The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech.- John Mortimer
No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.- John Mortimer
I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.- John Mortimer
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.- John Mortimer
Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.- John Mortimer
All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.- John Mortimer
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