There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.- Mark Twain
The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you do not want, drink what you do not like, and do what you would rather not.
The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
The more you explain it, the more I do not understand it.
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
