You learn, right, a lot of people's problems - why they get upset, why they get down, why they turn to drink - is because they can't say one word and it's N-O, no.- Paul Gascoigne
Well, I did know - but I just wanted the day to pass and the next day to come and then I wanted that one to pass. It was a horrible cycle. I felt so close to having to pack the game in.
Then all the foreigners started coming over. I do not mind that but a lot of teams are laying out fortunes for ordinary players and that is no good for our youngsters coming through.
The drink? Yes, I have had tough times in my life, especially the last year, regarding my ex-wife, my kids, I nearly broke my neck, I was on death row with pneumonia.
If the fans want me out, I will put my hands up and leave. Like a proper man. I would not make excuses, I will leave.
If I want to be a better person for whoever is in my life, I have to learn.
I have learnt and I just want to be respected for what I have achieved on the pitch. I know I haven't achieved much off it but I do know I have given pleasure to people watching me play football over the years.
I have had to deal with everything but everyone has helped me, including Sir Alex Ferguson, to get through. George Best was a good friend of mine. We loved each other, we both knew where we were coming from.
I have got a bit of money in the bank. I am quite comfortable.
I am going to do things when they are right for me.
I will tell you the truth: I had a double brandy before the game but, before, it used to be four bottles of whisky. Not any more. I was fine. I had a glass of wine after the game. But it was just a mouthful.
I won player of the year and players' player, two cups and two championship medals, had a great time.
I thought I did well for someone who has been out for 10 or 11 months. Then I was sub against Liverpool and tried to play for the guys and work on my fitness.
I take responsibility for myself and what I do now.
I never refused an autograph, never refused to buy someone a drink. Now I am learning to say I have got other things on, instead of doing it and wondering why.
