So, do you live around here often?- Steven Wright
Right now I am having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
My friend has a baby. I am recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
